Deeper
There are so many juicy things I could write about, but I can’t find the right way to get them out on to paper. Maybe I just don’t like to make myself that transparent.
For the most part, I have been taught to be pessimistic. The glass is mostly empty and the world is out to get me. Trusting people doesn’t come easily and I worry that most people don’t have a vested interest in me and who I am. I feel lonely all too often and wonder if my friendships will ever reach a point where others will call me first when they have something important they want to share with someone. I wait for them to make the first move and wonder if they will ever call to inquire about how I am.
My intentions in having a blog were to think out loud about my artistic ventures… To just write about things that pertain to me and my art, but that may be impossible to do since who I am is so tied into my artistic ways and inspriations.
In light of what is going on around the world, my silly wories seems so trivial: People are blowing themselves up for what they believe in… Children are being turned into drug dependent soldiers who hack friends and loved ones apart… Women and young children are treated as if they are not a necessary part of the world… There are poor souls being exploited by those in the sex trade and those who live for their cravings… People are dying because they have no food or medicine… So what are we supposed to do? My little world seems so unimportant inlight of what heaven has to deal with everyday. But somehow that great and awesome God cares just as much for me as he does all of them. But still, peace is so elusive. And drowning in self pity satistifies somehow.
So, who knows what I’ll hash out each time. But I am looking forward to it. Sometimes I worry that it will be more depressing than not. But isn’t that life? Let me know if it isn’t…
