Defining
There are so many ways to define artist. In many ways an artist is anyone who chooses to take their creative energy and use it outside their body. Maybe they use it in music. Maybe in dance. Maybe in sculpting or painting. Nonetheless, when I think of defining myself in the artistic world I realize that I truly believe I am not yet an accomplished artist. At least, not on the level that I want to be.
Maybe I am waiting to define myself through recognition and appreciation for what I can do as an artist. Maybe that stems from some deep inner drive for attention, I don’t know. But I long to be known for my art. I want it to define me.
Thinking that I was meant to be a “helper” of sorts, I went to college to get a degree in social work. Recently, I have regretted not diving into the arts more. I have only a minor in art because at the time I thought I could use my talents best by doing some sort of art therapy. Thus, helping the world become more peaceful in some way. When I think of who I was at the time, it is a blessing in disguise that I didn’t jump into the arts world. I was far too impressionable and who knows where I would have ended up. I suppose fear and safety drive me to that conclusion. Fear, because I wondered how much of my moral code was intact at the time. And safety, because it is safer to assume the worst could have happened than to admit it hurts to think that I may have missed the best time of my life to dive into great instruction and learning.
Sure, I have plenty of time left on the earth to accomplish goals. But if I had known where I would be today without the instruction to make my creations into what I dream they can be, I would have done something more about it then.
I am not sure if I even know what I am talking about anymore. Needless to say, I am striving to be what I think I can become. And seeking the quiet wisdom from the Creator of creating…
