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August 28, 2006
Embarking
Today was Ethan's first day of first grade. I dropped him off, at the wrong entrance, I might add. The principle, a nice lady, first hastily corrected my mistake and then introduced herself. She asked Ethan his name and his teacher's name. Then she turned to me and said they would take good care of him. I kissed him on the forehead and said I would see him after school. He turned and I turned and then walked away, fighting back the tears. I looked back and he walked through the doors.
It's only first grade, but it is the beginning of a journey that will enlighten him to the world we all know too well. Yet, I know that God can take his journey and make it clear and perfect in His way. Fear of the unknown is probably the greatest battle all of mankind has to fight. I don't how he will do in this school. I don't know what influences will come across his path. But this I do know, he doesn't walk alone.
Jesus gave me a picture in my head the night before to rest my fears and still my pain... With their backs to me, it was picture of my young boy walking with a tall man with shoulder length hair who was wearing long cloths draped from his form. They walked together like a father and son, confident and full of safety. And as they turned the corner from the door the man looked back at me with the most peaceful smile and sweet kindness in his eyes. And I knew he'd be all right.
I am not sure why I forgot this today, but for a short while I did. I cried a few more short times at home. Though my thoughts were constantly being interrupted by little people. The end of the school day came after a rather uneventful day at home. We, the whole family, picked him up and went out for ice cream to talk about his adventure. His first words were, "I love my new school, even more than my old one!" And that is saying a lot because his old school was really great.
So, tomorrow is only a few hours away and I have to do it all over again. Hopefully, my heart will be stronger... or at least reminded of who is in control.
Good Night.
Posted by mindy on 09:29 PM | Comments (3)
August 24, 2006
Heaviness
Where do I begin? My heart has been wrenched a bit in the last few days. I recently opened my eyes up to the pain others are going through/have gone through out in the big wide world. Not that I didn't believe it was all happening, but rather I chose to not be informed because of the way it tore at my soul. All of the seemingly hopeless situations that abound out beyond my little world.
It began one night as I watched part of Spike Lee's "When the Levees Broke: A Requiem in Four Acts," I was jolted into a time and place that left so many in pain. This is documentary about Louisiana and hurricane Katrina. Only a year ago. It was a bitter pill to swallow. I felt overcome by the thought of so many loose ends people are trying to tie back together. Like children who may have been displaced from their families and wonder "where are they now?" Are they just stuck in some shelter somewhere or dead? The idea of bodies floating through the water... here in America! Left for days, maybe even a week or more, while the living were still trying to be herded to safety. My heart gripped for hope as I felt the sinking feeling of despair and anger those people must have tasted.
Then the other night I watched a movie called "I am David" about a 12 year old boy who escapes a labor camp after WW2. Great movie about courage and an ironic sense of innocence in a young boy whose childhood was stripped from him. Again, jolting me into a time that I would much rather forget. It's conclusion is sweet though and joyous, but it left me feeling sick from shear sadness for so many in the world who have suffered and still are suffering.
The list goes on... Refugees, persecuted groups, wars, child abuse, death, mean kids, mean adults
It just can get so overwhelming. The fact that I feel so useless and so closed up from it all. I had thought for a long time that I would be a missionary... to Africa. That I would bring a ray of hope and joy to so many who need it. I know there is still much time and much more God has for me.
But what really digs deep into my heart is the fact that I am in charge, with my husband, to raise three small people whom God can use to spread His message of hope. Three little minds in need of learning and training. Six little hands that can be taught to give rather than take. Six little legs that need to learn to stand firm for what is right and just. And three pairs of eyes that must be opened gently to the hurting, suffering, and yet still wonderful world awaiting them. HOW... How is this done?
May the God of wisdom steer us all... Stop and breathe. Be thankful for your bed and sheets and blankets. Be thankful for people who smile at you. Be thankful your life is still in motion for you to change it. Be thankful for hope. Be thankful it isn't you who suffers unthinkable fear and heart-wrenching pain. Be thankful for whatever things bring you joy. Be still, get direction, and act.
Posted by mindy on 09:27 PM
August 20, 2006
A Bit of Vacation
To all of you who enjoy reading a little bit in to my world, forgive me for being on such a long hiatus from this here blog.
Recently, I was in California for my little brother's wedding and a little vacation (if you can call a cross-country trip with three young children a vaction). The nuptuals went according to plan, spent some quality time with family. The day trips were good. Pacific beach was cool, we found sand dollars on the beach and the water was beautiful. Here is a picture my mom's friend took. It is the most recent family portait we have to date.
So, to entertain you all, here's a link to a ten question quiz about me. Make one for yourself and let me know about it!
Take care!
By the way, I will post more often. Interesting things are happening around my house and in the world...
Posted by mindy on 12:19 AM | Comments (2)