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May 29, 2007
Upon Remembering
My thoughts seem to drift back to that happy place in Carmel. It is so fresh in my mind. Time to myself. Space that only I can mess up. Quietness in that space. It all adds up to a moment of time in my short life.. And it was just me on vacation. This is something I never thought I would ever have the chance to experience. I love my family very much. But as we all know there is a need to be alone and adventurous. And this trip was exactly what I needed...
So many times in the days past since my trip I find myself daydreaming about the air and light in that little town. I melt away in the thoughts of having that uninterrupted time to create peacefully. No serious "kids are calling, dinner is burning, the laundry is dinging" time pressure... just time to be. Time to see what might happen. There isn't a single thing I regret from my trip. I'm not forlorn that I didn't see more places. Nor sad that I got a few stitches (a war wound is always an interesting topic of conversation). In fact, as I look at my hands moving to recreate the moment when I struck the razor against my thumb I am filled with the realization that those are the hands that create and make new life out of a still page (of course not always).
I really am proud of the work I accomplished and eagerly await its arrival here at home. I have already been musing about how I can set up shop here melting wax, painting, and fusing with heat.
The paintings will arrive soon. Here are some parting shots of the Monterey/Pebble Beach area. Enjoy...
Pictures of the coast...
These little squirrels will eat from your hand. If I can figure it out, I will post the little movie I have of the fattest squirrel I have ever seen.
The sign at Pebble Beach Club (playland for the rich and famous).
This hole at Pebble Beach Golf Course is literally feet from the water. And, from what I could tell, it requires hitting the ball clear over the road named "17 mile Drive."
Posted by mindy on 08:10 PM | Comments (2)
May 25, 2007
Life in Carmel
The week is over, minus my all day traveling tomorrow. Carmel is an interesting little place. It is mainly made up of shops, restaurants, and art galleries... Lots and lots of art galleries. Most of the art is really beautiful and well done. Although I must say that at first all of this art is a bit overwhelming and redundant. But after spending some time working on my own pieces I finally felt intrigued by all of the art surrounding me. I spent time examining some pieces in the galleries and even learned of a very great painter from Hungary named Andras Gombar And upon leaving I feel a sadness knowing that I will not be surrounded by so much color.
But I am coming away with new concepts in art. New friendships as well. And an experience that will last a life time. Unfortuately I have no pictures of my art since it is all packed in a box and being shipped home. But once they are available I will post them. To my new friends from Artista, thanks for a great experience!
Here are shots of the coast along "17 mile Drive" in Pebble Beach.
more to come later...
Posted by mindy on 12:30 AM | Comments (3)
May 24, 2007
En Caustic
Studio
Stitches
Got four stitches today when I accidentally sliced into my thumb with a razor blade meant for scraping off excess wax. First time the teachers had to run anyone to the emergency room was with me... They've been doing workshops for two years.
Painting
First encaustic painting by me
Posted by mindy on 03:33 AM | Comments (4)
May 22, 2007
Carmel by the Sea
Over with the fears and on to the adventure. How can anyone be fearful with this much inspiration around them? Carmel beach is a 5 minute walk. I'll be in workshops almost all day everyday. So much inspriation at beach!
I spent a lot of today learning about the ago old process of en caustic painting. It is actually the oldest known form of painting after cave paintings. It started in Rome and moved into Egypt. Difficult medium to work in because it dries so fast. But I get to use a propane blow torch thing to heat the layers ad fuse them together. Very fun! It is actually like pottery glaze when you heat it with the torch you can control how the wax flows over the a flat wooden panel.
The town of Carmel is quaint with lots of galleries, shops, and little nook kind of restaurants. The houses are very neat. Some have a french flare, others an English cottage style, and some in Japanese styles. It has been a busy day. I am not adjusting to the time very well and get up at 4 or 5am! But maybe I will sleep well when I get back.
I will try to post some pictures of the works I've done. Only two small paintings so far, but tomorrow should be busier. Painting from 9am-12pm. Get lunch. Paint from 1:30pm-4pm. Then I go get a massage! Then I go to yoga. Then I eat dinner and paint again until midnight.
Thursday is painting from 9am until we wrap our stuff to ship home around 4pm.
So, I will post when I can or set up pictures when I get back...
Posted by mindy on 09:30 AM | Comments (2)
May 10, 2007
Movement
In two weeks from today my much anticipated trip to California for an artistic safari will be half over. I have no idea what state of mind I will be in; no comprehension of how deeply this trip will affect me. I just feel utterly confused about how I will make it through. I am paralyzed just thinking about it.
Just two years ago I longed for this very experience. I dreamt about time to myself... the peace and quite... the flowing energy of creativity... the personal space... the lack of familial responsibility. I am sure I complained more often than not about how crazy my life felt... How bitter I was to have to clean up after others.
But I have had new light shine on my heart in recent weeks. It seems that there is this part of me that is ready to embrace family life as I never have before. This peacefulness in knowing that I am the "mom" of a few little people who cling to me before anyone else. And now it just seems so hard to leave that. I know I am to come back after a week, but it feels like so much longer. I feel like when I have to go out that door and say good bye to these sweet little people, and a truly great husband, that I will be ripping a piece of my heart out and handing it to them... Something very deep in me will break. I almost feel like I can't do it. Like it's going to be so hard to leave that something in me will turn my feet to lead and prevent me from taking another step. Maybe it's because my kids are finally at a place where I can really enjoy all three of them at the same time. (You have no idea how much I have longed for this in the past 5 years!) Maybe it's because my preschooler will have his last day of school while I am gone and I won't be there to witness it. Maybe it's because my first grader seems so grown up for his age that I feel like I am leaving a friend. Maybe it's because my baby girl won't be there in the morning for those few days to greet me with her sugary smile, her arm full of blankies and her wildly unkept bed head. Maybe it's just the fact that I have to let go of some control. Not that I really have any ability to control the mass mayhem we coexist in in this little universe called our house on a daily basis. In fact, I seem to become a strange wild-eyed, wrinkled-evil-browed monster more often than I care to acknowledge on any given day. Well, from the truths just stated I guess that is why I need to get away.
But gripping pangs of loneliness fill my heart when I think of just how alone I will be. I will know no one. There will be no one to just sit with and feel at ease. There will be no one waiting for me to get my things together. No one to anchor myself to. It's like walking into the school cafeteria all over again. Those horrible anxious feelings of dread that you won't find anyone to sit with. And that all too uneasy feeling of insecurity. Normally, I am ready to take on the challenge and meet new people. And make new friends. But something in my life has changed. I have anchors now. And I like them. I have friends who I can rely on and am not looking for new ones. I know, I know, its just for a week. But at night I will be all alone... I am just having a hard time swallowing the loneliness. I just hope that the independent spirit that has driven me to many wonderful experiences in my life will rise up for this one. It just feels like that part of me is dormant.
Maybe if I just write it all out and have this cry-fest, I'll be able embrace this goodness that has been handed to me and drink it in deeply. I just need to continue to pray for a strength that isn't in me. A strength that allows me to be certain that while things are not in my control they are in the best hands they can be left in. Once I surrender my fears over to the Creator of all good things created, I will be able to run ahead and grab hold of the amazing gift I have been given.
Now that I have said all that who in the world would ever want to read so much babbling? But I feel much better now...
Here is the cherry blossom painting and a wave too
Posted by mindy on 11:53 PM | Comments (3)