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November 12, 2007
Shades of Grey
Where to begin... My life is not my own... once again. Just one more thing. A big thing. It takes over in the morning and propels me into deep sadness. Overwhelming anxious thoughts. Feelings of lack of control flood through my mind. I realize I have so little strength. I wonder how I can fight with the evil. I don't feel mean. I don't feel angry, just scared... stuck... hurt... alone. What does it all mean?
These are dark times in some ways. In others, they are like every day before the incident. But I am left with this new me. A scared me. A me that is afraid to move forward. To see others, to be around them. Afraid to feel tired and overwhelmed.
I am tired. Tired of fighting with this new found anxiety. Tired of fighting this new pain. Where? Why? I just don't understand... any of it. I just want my life back. Somehow I have crashed. I ran off a cliff and the climb back up looks perilous and impossibly steep. How did I get down here? What happened to my body? I was fine. I was healthy... happy... even/balanced. Now I am unpredictable, unstable, unsure, un-me...
Where did I go...
Posted by mindy on 08:09 PM | Comments (0)
November 04, 2007
Its the Little Things That Count
So, I took on a children's book illustration class only to basically miss the entire semester due to mono. But before I got sick I wrote a poem for my book. I have most of the illustrations done, though not in color. But maybe someday I will post them. Basically, it starts with a little red purse on the cover. Then the first page is a sketch of a little girl with curly hair and sitting with her chin in her hand. She invites you to come through different rooms in her house to find her special little toys. Anyway, here is the poem...
Being little, being sweet
makes life so fun and such a treat!
I like little things that are little like me
They can hide, they can glide, and even fill up with tea!
Today I will travel to be with a friend
To find my best treasure you must read to the end.
I have a small RED purse that holds little things
Like a car, and ball, and a dolly with wings!
In the pages beyond, my toys are all hiding
Over, or under, or maybe they're sliding!
On this page an ORANGE ball sits in its spot
If it stays there too long it might get too hot!
It may be up, it may be down
Wherever it is, there's also a crown.
(The ball is on a window sill)
I like to get washed up with bubbles and foam
The toy in this room is YELLOW with no feet to roam.
It floats and it squeaks and keeps company
With the sink and the tub and the towels all three!
(a little bath ducky)
GREEN is the color of trees and of grass
Or on this toy that can be pushed really fast.
It has wheels and lights and goes "voomin" around
It likes to hide in little places all over the ground.
(a green matchbox car)
Dreaming and resting and waking with the sun
I play in my room with my dolls to have fun.
Tea is a pleasure when sipped with company
My BLUE teacup is a favorite, but where can it be?
(lying on the floor with dolls and tea set)
Out in the yard the flowers all grow
From the seeds that Grandma helped me to sow.
PURPLE is her favorite, can you find the bunch?
I want to bring some for her table at lunch.
Well we've packed my pouch full of things oh so little
It's off to Grandma's for a treat with a treat in the middle!
It's BROWN and its gooey and may have a crunch.
She only lets me eat it right after my lunch!
(picture of purse with items floating around it)
Can you find my treasure stacked up on the plate?
It smells so good I can hardly even wait!
Milk is it's partner, they go as a pair
But best of all...
CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES
are my favorite little thing to share!
(kitchen scene with plate of cookies on the table)
Posted by mindy on 08:29 PM | Comments (1)