Unquenchable Thirsts
(When I started this entry I had no idea where it was going… Then it arrived in the place where my heart wanted to call out… And there it sat until the well was dry.)
There is something creeping over me today. It feels like a nice dose of emotional swinging. I feel a little lost inside. I am intune to that unquenchable feeling of dissatisfaction rising up and starting to irritate me. I haven’t done much creating lately. And it is starting to make me crazy. I want to create but, well, all the excuses in the book keep me from doing it. The house is never caught up. Dinner is never planned. School is never long enough. And, quite frankly, it is too darn cold! I could paint, I could draw, I could make jewelry, but my hands are dry and uncomfortable. I could keep complaining, but that may make my few readers actually stop coming by, so I will stop there. But art is an unquenchable thirst in me… Always.
As you can see my blog is on a default, unoriginal, setting. It’s other setting was unsettling. I can’t figure stuff out on it to update pictures and stuff. Plus, it just got boring to me. There is a lot more I want this blog to be, but it just isn’t there yet. Eventually, when my super tech-savvy husband and my reluctant self have some free time we want to devote to this ever ongoing “blog-battle,” it will evolve into that which it was meant to become.
On a sidenote… I heard a great teaching on worship this weekend. It really touched my heart. There was song played by an Australian church by the name of Hillsong and the lines came alive in me. They were complete truth and their statement they drove me to tears. They went like this… “The same power that conquered the grave lives in me, lives in me. The same love that rescued the earth lives in me, lives in me.” IN ME??? That is awesome. It is amazing that the power of God sent to rescue this broken, hurting world lives in those who call Him Savior. Seriously? Wow. I am in awe of this great God whose astounding love that reaches beyond creeds, beyonds boarders, beyond colors, resides in me. His Spirit… His beautiful, merciful Spirit is what brings hope in this sad and backwards world. I feel so priviledged to live in a country where I can worship Him freely. Who are we that He should even want us back after all that we humans have done? Who are we that He should even fight for us? But He did… He really did. For each and every one of us. And even after seeing all that we are capable of He would do it all over again… He would humbly come to this lowly place and He would do it all over again if that was necessary. But it isn’t. He came once. He lived here once among us stupid self-loving humans and grew-up in to a man who changed lives. Because no person is beyond the love He wants to give to each of us. No one. And with God… the worshiping, the serving, the dwelling in His grace is an unquenchable thirst too.
I needed to remember this today. I needed this dose of goodness and hope… See, I listened to NPR today… It was sad. So very sad. There was an interview with a Harvard Law professor, Jessica Stern, who has studied terrorists and their thinking. The interview covered an article by her, “Mind Over Martyr.” Whichshe discussed on the morning show. In it she described an unbelievable truth that happens among some of the radical Islamic “Jihad” type groups in Afghanistan and Pakistan. Apparently, there is a regular ongoing torture done to the boys who join these groups: rape. They are raped on a regular basis. The article, of course is filled with a lot of interesting information about how terrorists think and what they use to keep their groups growing. And in many cases they prey on the poor; offering education and jobs. They use this as a tool to recruit and bring in members. But the atrocious act of rape is obviously not something they tell them about. Ms. Stern wrote that it is regularly done on Thursdays called “man-loving” day. Because Friday is the day of prayer and when they are absolved of their sin. And the soldiers who have witnessed this or have heard about it going on in places where they are not able to change it come home here and have to deal with the shock. Several of them have thanked Ms. Stern for bringing it up in her article because so few people know about it going on. This story brought one thing to my mind very clearly. I am so very thankful for where God has put me in this world. To be one of those parents who simply is powerless to do anything but endure the pain would be enough to kill me. Do we ever realize how much safety we have? There is much more we take for granted than just our cars, water, heat… We can drop our kids off at a school and trust that they will be alright (of course using good judgement and precaution). As women, we can go to the grocery store, mall, whatever, and know that for all intents and purposes we will be fine. Not all of America is this safe I know that. But are we remotely aware of what daily struggles the rest of the human race endures? The world is so broken. So scary. So hurting. Humans are full of unquenchable thirsts.
My heart rises up when I think that there is a great God who wants nothing more than to show us who He is and what He can do. So often I loose sight of that. So often I hide from the sadness of this world because it is just too much. Too heart wrenching. But this weekend at church I was immersed in a worship that pulled my spirit into a place of such awe. And today I was thrown back into the reality of a world that lives in the darkest of places. But I am so very thankful. So very thankful… I know this great God. His power dwells in my heart. His grace guides my steps. His mercy is never ceasing. How can I not be thankful?
